Monday, September 19, 2011

title pic 3 Easy and Unhealthy Mistakes to Fall Into When Planning Your Perfect Second Wedding

Posted by on October 20, 2010

Second marriages are a gift from the gods. So often when a marriage ends, we can’t believe that we will ever trust anyone again. And then love knocks on the door of our hearts. And here you are! Getting married again. Why not give this second chance a great send off? Don’t get caught in these traps:

1. Limiting yourself to the choices you had and made in your first wedding. Everyone says oh, of course you can wear a white wedding gown. And of course you can! But nobody ever asks you if you considered wearing something scarlet because it’s hugely flattering and that now that you have a much better image of who you are, you want to be as bold and beautiful as you are. Wear a dress the color of passion or the color of fertility. Have a more casual wedding or a more intimate one. Dance the samba as your wedding dance. Have a great time. Avoid thinking small: Think about how this love has transformed your life and plan a wedding ceremony that is worthy of it.
2. Thinking that people owe you another huge wedding present. A friend of mine was recently invited to a work colleague’s third wedding. She had picked out a new silver pattern. Each setting was over $500. My wildly generous friend bought her a wooden salad bowl. It felt like gouging to her. You’re older, you’re wiser, and presumably a little further along in life. It’s unlikely you’ll need showers with big gifts or piles of wedding presents. You already have two households that you’re going to or have already combined. Avoid this. Focus on the fact that you have found this amazing love which has transformed disappointment and allowed you to venture into marriage which was the last thing on your mind when you met! Keep the wedding about the wedding ceremony, the wedding vows you will make to one another and celebrating the combined community who are celebrating with you.
3. Ignoring the fact that you were married before. This wedding is a miracle because you came so far to get here. It wasn’t easy. You had trials and tribulations. You were hurt and you probably hurt people. That’s what happens in divorce. When you made those promises, you intended to keep them. There were good reasons why you didn’t. For many of you there are children that were a result of that earlier marriage. And you are bringing them forward into your new life and love along with all the lessons you learned. Now you are ready for new love and new promises and you can make them with a full and open heart. Avoid this: This new marriage is a symbol of your growth and you want everyone to understand that you hold promises dear. That’s going to make your marriage rock for a very long time.

Each marriage is a precious and sacred thing and you have been lucky enough to give yourselves and one another a second chance. Enjoy it to the fullest. The more you celebrate how lovely love is when you have come upon it again, the more you will cherish it in your life ahead.

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